Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
For far too long, we (being the decent civilised world) have had to put up with your nonsense, and while we criticise, blame, attack and pass judgement, nothing seems to be getting through to you.
You tell us that we’re going to hell, that we’ve betrayed God, that we are all sinners and that we are all doomed. Apparently you are the righteous few, the shining light in the darkness of global sin. You are destined for the eternal bliss we will all miss out on, and you alone know the answers to the ethical, moral and religious quandaries we may or may not face every day.
You tell us God Hates Fags. You thank him for Dead Soldiers. You hate, and hate, and hate, and to what avail? No one really seems to be listening, do they? No one really wants to hear what you have to say, and no one, beyond your cloistered circle, actually believes a word you say, a claim you stake, or a lie you preach.
Despite all this, in some form of either extreme bravado, or extreme stupidity (or perhaps both, though I lean towards the latter) you go on, filling the world with your hatred and bile, disrespecting the lives of complete strangers in the most vindictive and malicious ways, and quelling the good hope innate within most people.
Well I’ve had enough.
I get that you think we’re all doomed sinners, and I’ve seen you with your signs, declaring this to people, and I know you’re not trying to convert anyone, that you’re just spreading messages to people, but I’m sick of you.
There is no place in the world for you, there is no need for you, there is nothing good to come from you, save for comparisons that the rest of us aren’t you. And to that end, you serve us the greatest pleasure, knowing that no matter how despicable we might find ourselves from time to time, we can rest assured that we don’t have a hope of sinking to the depths of your level.
I don’t care that you hate everyone anymore. It’s become redundant. I hate you and everything you stand for, and every person who proudly says, “Westboro Baptist is my church,” but I haven’t spent my life standing on street corners with signs and placards saying this. You’ve become ridiculous to me; what at first filled me with seething anger has just become so relentless that you’re almost comical now. It’s a lot easier to laugh at how foolish you all are now, than it is to hold on to the rage you inspire. You’re not worth the exhaustive effort that it takes to hate you, because you’re not changing anything. You are a stain on a pair of jeans that won’t come out, but it’s fine because no one cares enough about it anyway to say anything.
I used to hope that one day you would all realise the ignominy of what it is you do, and change your ways. I don’t hope for that anymore, I just have a feeble wish that you will all die quietly, withering away from the world’s collective consciousness like the insignificant termites you really are.
So what if God Hates Fags? I don’t. My friends and family don’t. Most people I know don’t, and I’m pretty sure even the ones out there that do, don’t see them as a reason to hate the world, to waste time standing around holding signs that say it, or to make themselves the worst kinds of people by picketing funerals.
If Barack Obama is the Antichrist, then I say that the Antichrist knows how to run one hell of a campaign. If “the only true Nazis are fags” then I say you need to read up on what National Socialism was, and their own views on homosexuality, but I’ll give you a hint – they weren’t massive fans.
But, Westboro Baptist Church, and I’m sure you’ve heard this more than a million times before – shut up. You’re just empty noise now. You shock and offend, but there’s only so much of that before you become a broken record. We all get what you want to say, and we all ignore it in the end. You hurt, you scorn, you decry, but at the end of the day you change nothing. Gay men and women are going to keep on being gay, and Barack Obama is still your president.
Today is a great day for me, because I’ve been set free. In realising that there’s no point to you, I don’t need to let my hatred of you consume me anymore. I do hate you, and everything about you, but there’s far too much in this world for me to see, to do, to feel, and to love to let you occupy anymore of my time. So I’m done with you. I’m done paying attention to the bratty child that becomes foul-mouthed to get attention. I’m done reading what you have to say and struggling to fathom that at some point, you’ve considered your words and preachings to be something that can be taken seriously. You’re just fools, and I’ll not suffer you anymore.
So when the time comes and I shuffle off this mortal coil, I’ll slide down into hell along with the gays, the Christians, the Protestants, the Hindus, the Islamic, the Jewish, the proud men and women of the United States defence force, the fans of Lady Gaga, the Swedish, the fag-enablers, the sinners, the earthdwellers, and every other man, woman, child, animal, vegetable or mineral that proudly declares your church a sham, that turns away from the filthy abomination you’ve made yourselves into and lives their life on their own terms, away from the twaddle you’ve committed yourselves so completely to and insist so belligerently on polluting our world with. Heaven is going to be a very lonely place for the rest of you, but if I have to become one of you to get there, then the devil can have me.
Go away and shut the fuck up.