Dot Points on Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Dot Points on Jupiter Ascending (2015)

I can’t possibly review Jupiter Ascending properly, because I’d need to write the plot down, and you won’t believe me if I do. Instead, here are my thoughts on the movie as they formed in my mind watching it: Orange and Teal: The Movie This movie has an opening credits/title sequence that interrupts the movie as … Continue reading

50 Shades of Grey Part Three: If It Looks and Sounds Like a Duck, It Might be a Rapist

50 Shades of Grey Part Three: If It Looks and Sounds Like a Duck, It Might be a Rapist

There are three main issues I have with 50 Shades of Grey, and I’m offering nothing new in the world of criticisms of this book – these are the same issues a lot of people have. But I’ll be damned if I put myself through the torment of reading that book without offering my own … Continue reading

50 Shades of Grey Part One: Prose Before Hoes

50 Shades of Grey Part One: Prose Before Hoes

There are three main issues I have with 50 Shades of Grey, and I’m offering nothing new in the world of criticisms of this book – these are the same issues a lot of people have. But I’ll be damned if I put myself through the torment of reading that book without offering my own … Continue reading

Short Reviews: Maleficent (2014)

Short Reviews: Maleficent (2014)

The movie is really really pretty, and Angelina Jolie is fucking fantastic in the title role. Everything else is up for debate. If you cherish Eleanor Audley’s undeniably badass rendition of the character from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty (she is after all the only Disney villain to go all the way and invoke the powers of … Continue reading